Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable: Spending Legitimate Time Solo

by | Nov 16, 2021 | Work, Life Balance

Hey, there, Women and Womxn! The usual Monday post is coming at you a day later, because the power went out yesterday. No power = No posting!

Experiencing the outage gave me a lightbulb moment — had to say it — of what we’ll talk about today: getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. As you can imagine, with the power out during the day and into the late afternoon, the ability to do my work took a nosedive. So, what was left was me, myself, and I, plus the dogs. And to be honest, I didn’t do great. It also didn’t help that the winds were gnarly, the rain was coming down, and I was worried about our house, animals, and the general safety of others. But after a while, it hit me:

“Why am I uncomfortable just sitting here…?”

There was no whirring of appliances, just the wind. Some dog barking and sheep baying interrupted the silence, too, but there was a whole bunch of nothing. Honestly, it felt a little eerie. And while I usually tell myself I crave downtime and need it, it was right here and felt weird.

Now, I talk about meditation, mindfulness, and other modes of “being here now,” on FSW. And as you all know, we’re on this journey together. To be 100% transparent, this was an opportunity to be a witness to this feeling of eerieness, alone-ness, and stillness. And while I try to pencil in downtime and me time, the overwhelming feeling of the need to hustle can be consuming.

Do You Feel Like Your Speed is Hustle, Too?

The vast majority of us have been met with stressors: in life, in the pandemic, in today. We get wired to expect dangers and have angst, especially with the roles and responsibilities we carry. I’m no different. What makes me curious though is how uncomfortable I was with the silence. This also wasn’t meditation or activation silence, by choice, but the silence of nothing going on but what’s around me.

Have you had these moments during utter stillness only to ask yourself, “Now what? What do I do?” A present, Soulful response: “Nothing. Be here.” Myself: “No, really, I have a s#!* ton to do.” The present response again: “Not right now you don’t; you have no power.”

Eventually, I ended up reading for my program, as it could be done via light coming from the window. But the point is: it took me hours just to relax a little bit and feel grounded, which is why this “hustle mentality” has to go, Folks.

The Challenge: Spending Seconds, Minutes, or Hours, Solo

While hustling, surviving, getting through – use your words – happens, we really can’t maintain that pace inevitably. It may sound idyllic, but we originated from having an ebb-and-flow with the weather, other natural phenomena, and even with each other.

I didn’t realize until yesterday how “bad” I am at sitting without a to-do list getting done. What a beautiful lesson, amidst the chaos outside. Even typing out these words right now and thinking about sitting without doing a thing (and not with the intention of meditation, etc.) makes my stomach go sideways. Why? TBD. Needs a shift? You betcha.

Do you struggle with solo time? Whether it be taking it, choosing it, or sitting in it, how do you carve this out for yourself? Truly, I’d love to know… Our conditioning is such that we may try to “go with the flow,” until things happen that force us to. It’s time to learn how to, and allow for, time to chill and just be. I’m starting to figure out, after years of my own stubbornness, that our nervous systems and bodies need it and our mental games need it. Our Souls and intuition know how to be 100% present and it doesn’t mean turning ourselves off to the world—it means sitting in this world. It means “showing up,” in the most organic and present way possible. Even if it’s just seconds or minutes, that’s progress.

Ok, Friends—how do you feel about really sitting still? Not for something, but just as you. What do you do when something like this comes to semi-test you? Leave a comment below or send me a message here, because I deeply enjoy dialogue and connecting about these “ah-ha moments!” If you’d like to join the FSW Circle to know when blog posts are hot-off-the-press, here’s where you sign up. Want to do a quiz instead? Just click here! Want to read up on other topics? You can head to the Blog or use the search feature to browse away. Have a compassionate, focused-on-your-essence week ahead, Wonderful Women & Womxn! I’m here, walking with you!

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