When Was the Last Time You Felt Truly Sexy? Not Confident, but Sexy?

by | May 17, 2024 | Wisdom Over Toxicity

Dear Wise Woman:

Can I see some head nods for that dance between sexy, confident, and not-feeling-it-today?

As I’ve gone through the years, I have finally recognized in my bones what’s sexy to me, what I find sexy, and how that can change over time. And that includes going through confidence-wielding experiences and how I show up in this world.

So, let’s have a real chat around here, as usual.

When have you felt the sexiest? Not for anyone’s gaze or just with your body friend, but for yourself? I’ll wait…

A friend and I were talking about this recently. We both identify as women, talk about everything under the sun, and feel like we need to discuss “the sexy factor” more often. But it’s not what you think…

Today, let’s chat about “the sexy factor” and how you want to show up for yourself in your life, your work, and your presence in this world. 👇🏻


This video covers a few points I’ve realized myself and wanted to share with you:

  • This sexy factor isn’t for anyone else: it’s for you
  • Start to unpack, “When have I been at my sexiest?”
  • Next question: When have you lit the room because you’re lit within?
  • Finally, how do we bring it back and show up differently now?

Let’s Recap:

It’s easy for us women, femme folks, and beings in this world, to judge ourselves harshly. We’ve been trained to do it from birth.

Initially, when I wanted to share this wisdom, I struggled to define what’s sexy and confidence-building to me now. In this stage of life; and not only as a business owner but as a woman.

And it’s changed.

Now what’s sexy AF is me being me. No apologies. No worries about pissing others off. No holding back.

I gave myself a vow around a year or two ago now: I will show up as myself and folks can take it or leave it. And that’s both confidence and The Sexy talking.

The takeaway: you get to define what is sexy to you. For you. About you. Do our bodies change over time? Definitely. Do our values or what sings to us change? Yes. But in this game called life, you’re the one showing up for you.

Be as sexy and confident as you want to be. Because you’re a goddamn unicorn and you’re not alone on the journey. 🦄


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