Last week we talked about sitting with our past to better understand ourselves and the work we’re here to do. While I’m not necessarily saying sit in the past and stay there, it’s useful to reflect on how far we’ve come. If we can do a check-in on how we’ve been forged along the way, our missions in this life could become clearer.

• Gaining clarity on what we bring to this world?
• Finding clarity on what we want to do in each mission?
• Applying some badass skills we’ve acquired over the years?

Where do I sign up?

Sometimes our pasts have pain and we don’t want to go there; I get it and go through it myself. But what if we look at the past as a resource, something like a tool, with 100% objectivity? This may not be easy to do and I still struggle with it, too. So, as we do this, let’s pretend you’re your best friend on this one: be loving, assertive, truthful, tactful, and a dreamer, all in one. Grab that cup of tea, coffee, or whatever, and sit.

Sitting with Our Pasts

And this is where our part two comes into play… When we assess how we’ve been forged, and how we’ve forged ourselves—this is critical, too–we get to decide now how we show up.

We can’t control how others or society have forged us and there are a lot of external things that influence us on the daily. We know this already, but we do have our choices, our agency, and our wisdom, that are foundational to who we are today and how we build ourselves for tomorrow.

Befriending Ourselves Again

You know that voice or instinct inside of you: the nice, loving one, not the critical one? She, or they, have been whispering to you about your beauty, your strength, and your significance. Sometimes it feels safer to tune this loving presence out, because they ask us to expand and grow or we even want to grow ourselves, but it can be uncomfortable. And it’s in our animalistic, human nature to both dream and imagine, and to play it safe for so many reasons. And that’s ok.

So how do we “play both sides?” How do we work through the desire to feel safe and imagine our lives and the work we do to be different?

Daily Showing Up to the Rescue

After sitting with our new friend Past, reflecting with them, and maybe even trying to love them a little bit…it’s time to move forward. Don’t worry, you can always come back for a chat, but eventually, that coffee bill is going to get expensive.

Now, I’ll begin this next step with transparency first. It’s not always easy to move forward and to “be brave.”

But to do our missions here, we need to recognize the moments of needing coffee mug inspiration and post-its on the bathroom mirror, and how we are going to use our bravery and agency. Now, if these tools work for you—mugs, inspiration, etc.—then use them by all means. Honestly, I do, too. And then ask yourself these questions:

• In this moment how am I showing up for myself? How am I not?
• How can I give myself time, presence, and a listening ear, for my next steps?
• What would it look and feel like if I was showing up for myself every damn day?
• Has the work that I’ve been doing over the years reflected my essence? My strengths? My missions?
• How could I show up better for my professional growth and expansion?
• Why does showing up for myself and the work I do matter?

These are just some prompting thoughts and ideas, y’all. Use your words and use your own language, because that’ll be what resonates and moves the dial a little bit.

In the last post, I mentioned recognizing the coffee or tea stains left behind—basically, the stuff that leaves a mark. So many of us carry memories around and it’s natural, but let’s wrap up this week’s post with an example:

These coffee and tea marks can stain for sure. Coffee grounds are a literal hot mess sometimes and tea leaf bags can slop crap everywhere. Coffee can sometimes fly around in our cars on the commute, and both can taste bitter if steeped too long…

But these two stain-makers can also be foundational to a garden. They can feed future plants that feed our bodies, wellbeing, and ultimate happiness. So, are these staining memory makers all bad? Nah. They have their pros and cons, like everything else in life. Just like our pasts… Now we get to decide if we stay frustrated and stained or if we’re going to compost the hell out of this material and start growing.

That’s it for this week, Beautiful People. Hang around on FSW and check out other free resources: the FSW Circle, an FSW Quiz, and more Blog memos exploring a ton of topics. Have questions? Comment below or contact FSW here. Have a wonderful week ahead and if you need help with your own composting and growing, I’m always here for you!