We’re moving through January, Womxn… It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? How’s your 2021 faring so far? Are you feeling more focused and moving forward? Less so? What can I do to help?
In the FSW World, a new project is in development for y’all now that the FSW Quiz launched. And in my personal world, we’re gearing up for the next move. I won’t share much about that yet, because there are so many moving parts again (pun intended). I can say that there’s a chance Engineer and I are making our way back home in an R.V. We’ll see what happens!
This week’s post is a little lighter than the last, which was about resentment. After writing that deeper piece, I wanted to keep this a wee bit shorter and not as hefty. While waiting for direction from the Universe and making choices here, I’ve come to realize how typical it is for us to doubt ourselves (and resent things). Or have less faith (and resent what’s considered a Higher Power). It can be a norm for us to see that the circumstances in our lives happen to us rather than for us. After I finally realized the difference years ago, my holistic existence shifted. More often than not, now I see things are happening for me.
What do you think about this idea, the “to vs. for?” It’s quite the reframe.
Admittedly, it was “easier” to be checked out of Life when things (I thought) were happening to me. Circumstance A occurred, WTH? Or, Circumstance B came out of nowhere, what can I even do about it? Then, Circumstance C was Hell on Wheels, but who am I to act differently because it’s happening anyway?
When we think that things happen to us we can view life from a few angles. Just a few examples are feeling like a victim, distancing ourselves, cursing everything that hurts us, or being complacent. Now, there can be really sad, not-awesome things that happen in our lives–I don’t minimize that, trust me. Things have happened in my life, yours, and to those that will come after us. But, I have chosen to look at it from a mindful perspective just to save some sanity. When I didn’t, time and the events dragged on and dragged me with them; or, I let myself be dragged along, mind and body.
So, how do we avoid being dragged along, day after day? Be 100% present. Mindful. Engaged.
For sure, our minds and bodies do a lot to survive hardships. We have evolved from Homo sapiens for a reason, yeah? But, the most powerful life-altering thing we can do is accept, hold, and witness, ourselves as-is with love. And if we can’t love ourselves that deeply just yet, we can at least try to be present with ourselves and accept that “this is it for now.” Checking out happens in survival mode; it is evidence-based reasoning, really. If we stay in survival mode, though, then we might check out so much we miss who we are now, and what is happening that might actually be good for us and beautiful.
Now, ask me in a few weeks if I’m holding on to this “Be Present and Pay Attention to the Good” lifestyle, when literally re-packing our lives. Honestly. The best part about FSW is that it’s a place of conversation, and a circle of women/womxn holding on to their wisdom and accountability. So, hold me accountable, too. 🙂 Remind me of my Inner Dignity, as I remind you of yours. And let me know what you think about this belief of things happening for rather than to. Comment below on it, or email me here. I’d like to know what you think about it, because I don’t always have the answers and don’t claim to. But as we help one another grow, we’ll find out more about ourselves and Womxn’s Wisdom so we can share it and journey forward together. Let’s pay it forward to ourselves, first, and then to others, and see this world change!