Comparing Yourself to Others? Remember Who You Are

by | Feb 22, 2021 | Overthinking and Procrastination

Let’s hit the ground running, Womxn and Women. I have two seemingly opposing stories to share with you, plus the “aha!” moment ending. I don’t know if you’ll laugh or cry with me, or feel similarly in the long run…

Story #1:

With moving, and going border-to-border in Washington, one needs a hot beverage. Hello, Vanilla Chai, I love you. In the drive-thru, the relatively younger staff were having a blast listening to music. It was blaring and one of them went to turn it down.

We, being casual and relatable folks, said it was a good song and then they responded: “The old Britney [Spears] is the best.” Our response went something like, “This song was part of our childhood or teen years,” kinda joking around. FYI: Womanizer was released in 2008. I wonder what this person would think of Britney’s older songs like when she first started out… Regardless, this all provided a great laugh and human connection in a time where we all could use a laugh in life.

The point is: When someone (pretty young) says something and you feel a little ancient all of a sudden, what do you do? Maybe check some wrinkles out, wonder if we’ve lived life right, or a host of other options.

But let’s back the truck up a wee bit and think of cases where our “grown up-ness” has aided us. We’ll talk about Story #2 next.

PS) On their coffee stand is a quote: “To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.” Good quote, and I’ll remember that next time something like this comes up ha.

Story #2:

A conversation a few days ago made me feel proud as a womxn, a business owner, and a general professional. I’ve just joined a program that’ll help take life and work to the next level and maybe I’ll share more about that later.

In this conversation were synchronicities, reinforcement of choices, ethics, and values; and all this happened with a complete stranger. I don’t take that lightly and this conversation helped reinvigorate my spark. Also, without umpteen experiences and learning how to communicate over the years, this conversation might not have happened. Who knows. But it did and it’s based on years of foundation-building.

Friends, many of us have times where we think we’re getting too old to do X, Y, Z, or we’re out of alignment with others’ youth, credentials, or dreams. Comparison steals happiness and present living. Been there, done that. There can be many reasons why we play the Comparison Game and we don’t have to get into that here. You already know better than I do how you deflate yourself (said with a hug).

Why not reframe these times of the Comparison Game into something new and even exciting?

–>Tweak “comparing” into “preparing.” A similar amount of letters, easy to remember, but what do I mean by this? Since comparing steals happiness and life away from you, or, it did me, let’s reframe.

Instead of playing the game of comparing, play the game of preparing.

  • Used to comparing your looks? Prepare for your holistic healthiness and self-love instead.
  • Comparing your age bracket or feeling a lil’ “old?” You’re just preparing for your wiser, fulling life one day at a time.
  • Do you compare your goals to a friend or family member? Prepare yourself for your goals, stay in your lane, and see how your goals suit you. Then implement.
  • Have you had something unexpected happen and are comparing your “failure” with others’ (allegedly) perfect life? Prepare to overcome the choice, mistake, or Plot Twist, and envision how your life can be. For you, not them.
  • How about comparing your life with a coworker’s life and how they go do fun things on the weekend? Check out why you’re doing what you do, your choices, and if you want to change it up, prepare for it. Find out why you do things, and adjust, if it’s what rocks your soul.

Trust me, I get that a reframe is easier to write about than work on, but it might be worth trying and I’ve been working on these things for years. Related to what just happened, if I were to wallow in the fact that I was born in the 20th century, like a lot of us, and will inevitably keep meeting “kids” younger than I, it’s going to be a long lifetime y’all. But if we, together, can reconsider our strengths, and our “aging” as a gift of wisdom-building and bringing to fruition a fulfilling life as we experience different things… That’s a win-win.

Let me know in the comments below, or email me, on what we’ve talked about today. Or, heck, email me about your favorite songs and what inspires you! Maybe it’s Britney, Tina, Beyoncé, Cher, or others—you do you! Womxn & Women, it can be an uphill battle for many of us to walk on the path of self-love. But just know you’re not in it alone. I’m here for you, and I know that you’re beautiful on all levels already and can help you see it, too. 🙂

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