My headline might feel a little spicy right out of the gate, but I have good reasons for it this week. First, happy new week to you, my friends, and second, let’s get into how we can be both steady (just for our own well-being) and take no shit.
Last week I had multiple experiences of poor customer service with a couple of companies I have subscriptions to for my business tech needs. The experiences ranged from not great to horrid. And while I don’t normally rake entities or people through the coals, I called them out on LinkedIn because I don’t want other small business owners going through the same thing.
These situations reminded me of something key in our lives: not taking shit. Now, it doesn’t mean we be jerks or small-minded and hearted folks; it just means we stand in our power. Before I share a few steps that come to mind, I’ll give you more backstory.
For those who prefer the audio version of this post, click the play button below.
My Backstory of People-Pleasing
For most of my life, I would try to be cool, nice, and people-please. And to be honest, I still try peaceful routes of conversation vs. blatant accusations and high tensions per se. It’s how I’m wired, and there’ve been other events in my life that made me stand back and watch vs. drive in like a steamroller for simply safety reasons.
Our wiring can be tricky to work with and may also need deep healing. I’ve been working on that and recognizing what’s my essence as a being vs. what’s been ingrained in me and conditioned for people-pleasing and niceties. There isn’t enough room here on this piece for unpacking that, but if you’re in the same place, I know you’ll get it.
So, What Happened?
I did not throw this entity up on LinkedIn. The conversation I had with them, was honestly the best out of the three. They apologized for the mistake and were open to making up for it, which is pretty cool. So, I’ll still use them for my business insurance. Moving on!
When I was working in a new landing page, I made a duplicate for another. The copy was on, I felt good about it, and…then… Nada. My duplicate had messed up my original page copy. And it’s the one time I did not take photos of what I wrote or how I laid it all out. That’s on me, but this platform has no version history or Undo button. So, I contacted them for help.
The person on the chat didn’t pass me on to tech support to help fix the problem with my landing page, so that was a ding against them. They pretty much told me an Undo option does not exist and they’ll tell the development team my feedback. This meant I definitely lost my work and there wasn’t any way to get it back, even on their back end. Not awesome. I still want to work with them, only because all my sequences and automation(s) are lined up, but it was frustrating AF. There are other non-email platforms that have version histories, and this one should because it’s a big wig name.
Yes, I could go somewhere else, but I do this work solo and without a VA. Trying to convert everything to another mailer right now is not high on my “That Sounds Amazing List.” So, who was the winner of the Shoddy Customer Service Award for 2023?
The third, my favorite experience last week (note the sarcasm), was a humdinger. And they were the ones that made me be less of a people-pleaser and take no shit. Actually, the email platform (Company B) started the “take no shit process,” but the third entity really took it up a notch.
Without boring the Hell out of you, the summary is I got charged for something I didn’t know was automatically renewing. When I contacted them months ago, or even a year ago, I thought their staff took care of manual renewal at the time. That was ding one, because they didn’t. Ding number two was working with two or three different people, all of which did not listen to what happened. And a couple of them didn’t even fix the continually getting charged problem, even though they were supposed to.
By my third conversation — I’ve lost count — I was getting pretty nuclear. One of my values as a human being, and a provider myself, is superb customer service whenever possible. And while already stressful, unfortunately, my bookkeeping is going to look funky with their daily draws and refunds for three days straight… *grimace*
Let’s Talk About Steps You Can Take
Step Number One:
Ground yourself and try to remain calm. Yes, I was *this close* to dropping the f- bomb. Well, it might’ve happened by Company C’s third screw-up come to think of it. And just try to remember who you are at your core: powerful, steady, grounded, and certain that this can work out as it needs to.
Step Number Two:
When getting pushed around or mansplained to (my favorite), continue to stand in who you are. I know that I keep saying it on repeat, but it’s very easy to get shaky in our own groundedness when in a they’re-not-budging situation. Envision a warrior woman or a wise woman sage, whatever you need. I was given multiple “ma’am” responses — like that’ll placate me and it’s not inclusive language, FYI… And by the end of the call, they honestly thought I’d still use their platform. To pull in some Clueless, “As if.”
In an ideal world, if a company messes up, they need to try to make up for it or we go somewhere else, if possible. So, if you also have options, let’s go onward and upward! If you’re getting pushed around in your job, let’s find you another one that’s more supportive and less toxic. Is your relationship (platonic or romantic) shitty and not worth the trouble? Start to detach and create that exit plan.
We deserve less draining and more supportive environments and experiences in life, my friends. Stand in your strengths, know your strengths are there. And if you ever need help with that, I’ve got you here at FSW.
Step Number Three:
It’s related to Step Two, but as you start to exit the relationship with a company or person, not only stay steady in who you are but rebound the bullshit.
What do I mean by that? Some do this in a spiritual cleansing way; some might say out loud, “that’s not mine to own, it’s yours.” In truth, I’ve done both.
Bonus Step: try to not ruminate over the situation if you can help it once it’s done or as you’ve exited the relationship. I can’t lie, even relaying the story to you right now is making me huffy and a little pissed all over again, only because I’ve spent a lot of money over the years for now-subpar or shitty service. So, I own it and don’t back away from the feelings. And it’ll feel good to go to Company C’s competitor, who’s been more welcoming and warm (without even knowing who their competitor was at the beginning of the conversation).
Remember that you’re always a work in progress. As our work and life situations come up, they’re lessons, and sometimes shitty ones. But when we continue to learn about our strengths and stand in our power, we’ll continue to know our wisdom, know who we are, and where we stand in this life.
And that knowledge is a building block, a foundational stone, for our future and our changes to come.
That’s it for this week! Feeling inspired? If you’re looking for more tips, and want a more direct connection, join (for free) the FSW Circle and get The Weekly Wisdom in your Inbox. If you’re ready to ditch soul-sucking work and what doesn’t align with you and shift towards soul-full living and work-life balance…you need The Zone of Purpose™ Blueprint. And if you have any questions or comments, leave them below or contact me 1:1 this way. Chat with you soon and bright blessings on you!