We’re coming together today women and womxn, because last week in the US there was (another) tragedy. Now, for those who don’t agree with what I’m saying that’s cool. We don’t have to agree, but what I ask for on my platform and in my circle is 100% respect. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It was hard to regroup after Friday’s news about the Roe v. Wade decision—that we all saw coming. Now, when you’re semi-prepared for what’s next–thanks to the leak about a month ago–you’re almost geared up and ready for it. But it still guts you when it happens…when you see the reality of how this type of thing affects masses of people. You know, fellow beings. And I always process: who really holds “power?” For what? And why? So, because of being still jarred, this post won’t be all orderly, and Tip 1, Tip 2, Tip 3… I’m owning it. Here is why truth-telling is undeniably important right now: we need to speak our truths, especially when our voices are being silenced one policy at a time, one situation at a time. Also, this hasn’t just happened to white women; more importantly, this has happened to our sisters of color, our non-binary friends and family who live as they want to live, and my fellow queer community members…for decades and centuries (and the list goes on). I’ve already written about how to speak your truth and you can find that post here. So that being said, today is simply meant for why we need to hold space for and speak our truth. Let’s dive in.
Saying “No” Has Many Styles of Messaging
We need to practice saying “no,” which can look different to every individual. I used to be a people-pleaser because I didn’t want to hurt others’ feelings. Sometimes I read the room because it may or may not be safe…. To be real, I struggle with a fiery temper on one end and a “peace, love, and understanding” view on the other. I’ll admit, that is my biggest struggle: trying to approach life with a non-violence perspective when others don’t… I know that the phrase can be a little harsh, perhaps, but maybe it’s time to go “gloves off” and not act in violence, but act with purpose, strength, and focus. So, how do we work with this? One, work with your Soul on it. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but your values have been ingrained in you and also change with you. So, see how you react and if it aligns with who you are and who you want to be. Two, I’ve written out some thoughts below, to help you at least see your truth, because we don’t have to sacrifice ourselves or our wellbeing for anyone. Let me repeat: we can be our best allies and don’t need to sacrifice any part of ourselves to please others. It is hard to balance anger and, admittedly, disgust with some of these things going on in the world and in our country. Try to remember my little phrase then: Feel All, Balance, and Remember Your Strengths. Ok, so maybe there are some tips for today…
Our Impact Grows the More Truthful We Are
I get this statement might be a head-tilter to some, so let’s unpack this a bit further. Q: Virginia, how does truth-telling increase our impact? A: Well, Beautiful Human, when you can say, “No,” in one sentence without apologizing or over-explaining, you’ve taken back some of your power and agency. Or, when you understand where your truth lies, you can create better boundaries and a plan-of-action of work that aligns with your values. Your power and agency will help you live authentically and be a changemaker. Q: Ok, so does this eventually become a power play and “us vs. them?” A: It depends on the other person and y’all’s responses. If they’re acting like an utter jackass, you can try to choose to step away from that conversation, block, delete, report, or do the next best thing, to letting their slimy energy go. No need to claim that ’cause it’s theirs. Q: Well, what about my work environment? How do I manage truth-telling in that? A: This may be an unpopular answer (and is just my two cents), but work environments can be tricky. Some corps/orgs have specific policies in place about your branding, how you operate on social media, etc. Make sure you understand what those practices and policies are. I say this because, for better or worse, you’re their employee (until or unless you make an exit plan). That being said, there are ways to speak truth at work and reclaim your agency:
- Use “thanks for your patience…” with email responses vs. “I’m so sorry this is late!!!”
- Set up those boundaries for your energy and time.
- Continue to reconsider how the entity fits into your long-game plan and your comfort zone. For more on that, click here.
Q: And how does being authentic help the world progress? A: Because there is no one like you to do it…. The world needs you. There’s a whole bunch of people who don’t like differences, or “others,” but there are a lot of us that do and we can support each other on bumpy ass journeys like this one.
The Systems Are Shaking and People Are Noticing
The only way I can get out of bed and get fired up for this sort of work is to believe in the power of change, the power of impact, and the power of collective consciousness. It doesn’t make it joyous sometimes, but let’s make it a little easier to end this blog post out… My friends, don’t discount a simple act of kindness or even a look in a meeting that says, “I support you and back you up.” These are truth-telling circumstances. How so? Because you’ve realized what is your business: you’ve recognized that you can make impacts in “small” or “large ways,” by going out of a comfort zone, perhaps, or speaking up even. When we see this WTF stuff on the news or hear tragedies, again and again, it’s hard to think we’re rising up… But that’s the beauty of the phoenix… That’s the beauty of a dormant winter that comes before spring… This is the cracking. And how can we tell? I see the status quo makers are pissed, still trying to control us, and want us to feel alone. Well, as one truth-teller to another, that won’t happen. It “can’t” happen because we will resist and we will come together. We will continue to fight for universal human rights. It may be done in new, creative ways, but that’s ok, too. The times are changing, and that’s why we need to speak our truths—even if it’s just to ourselves at first—and work forward from there. That’s it for this week! If you’re looking for more direct updates and want a more direct connection, join (for free) the FSW Circle. And if you have any questions or comments, leave them below or contact me 1:1 this way. Chat with you soon!