Happy first Monday of May, Womxn, and Women! I don’t know where you’re at right now, but this Spring weather is divine. And it makes me more open to things just by being in its presence. I think it’s because we’ve all been hibernating and dormant and we’re ready for the new. What do you think?
I’ve been sitting on this story for several days… There’s nothing better than an opportunity for change sometimes, so let’s chat about it!
At a local restaurant, a young womxn walked by and I complimented her on her “tights.” They had planets and stars, and she was rocking them.
Post-compliment, she corrected me saying that they were “pants.”
If I had to guess she was under 12 years old… And I love it. Why?
Because she’s the next generation (kindly) “correcting me” on any biases or feel-goods that I’m trying to compliment her on. She knows who she is, to a point, and she wasn’t scared to tell me what she wears or her viewpoint. Her caretaker, or Mum, encouraged her to tell me thanks, regardless, but all-in-all I appreciated her spunk.
Why in our 20s, 30s, or 40s, and Later, Do We Lose Spunk?
She wasn’t sassy; she was gracefully assertive.
She wasn’t bossy; she merely told me her truth.
And she wasn’t being obnoxious with her mannerisms.
She was being herself.–>A butterfly already coming out of its cocoon.
Why in our 20s, 30s, or 40s, and later, do we lose some of our truths to others? It’s just a reflective question, but feel free to comment below if you’d like with an answer.
In times of my life, I’ve definitely lost myself to people-please or to feed an Ego that doesn’t take the front seat as much anymore. Today I was going through old pictures on the phone and noticed how only a couple of years ago I was doing a job that was so hard to do in some ways. The pictures were of projects that were either given to me at the 11th hour, changed again and again, etc. And more recent pictures show a vast difference.–>They’re more bright, airy, progressive-minded with FSW, and encouraging. Even seeing pictures taken of me from “back then” vs. now is a little shocking. And for sure, this happened in other roles and I still wonder why I was myself in some spaces and “played it small” in others. Another story for another time, I suppose.
Have you lost a piece of your Truthful or Real Self for the sake of a job, or a system, or __(blank)__ reasoning?
It’s ok if you have because it can happen to any of us. It’s a little embarrassing to think about…if I am “learning a lesson” from an Under-12 human… But I really don’t care. Kiddos or young people can be phenomenal teachers.
So, What Can We Do to Gain This Honesty and Confidence Back? Here are Four Quick Tips:
- Be authentic with ourselves, 100%. And then forgive past choices, present worries, and future uncertainties.
- Be authentic with others (as it’s safe and within certain systems).
- Own our struggles, troubles, and wins. The wins are key, Folks. I’ll write more on this at a later point, but go ahead and give yourself grace for struggles. And definitely allow yourself time for joy.
- Try to live in color vs. a dull gray. Ask yourself or reflect on these questions:
- What brings you a “victory” in your daily life?
- What brings you down or what do you do to work through it?
- Where do you walk through life in gray? Is there anything there that you have control over or can tweak?
- On the flip side, how do you live life with some zest, allowing yourself joy, excitement, or hope? Can any of that be replicated or expanded upon?
Why does helping ourselves help the next generation?
We tend to set a precedence for ourselves each day; we may collect ourselves or even degrade ourselves. And while we may have to retrain ourselves to have, at times, a “child’s mind,” this can be a useful tool in our daily life.
–>Can you imagine living with more curiosity, love, and openness? Or truth? Freedom? Just think about it.
And in doing this, our presence with others (and if we mentor them) may be even more meaningful. But we need to start with ourselves, eh?
What do you think about this? Is it hard enough to love yourself right now vs. think about the next generation? Or, is it easy enough for you to see the balance, owning who you are to help pave the way for others? I believe that in each choice we can shape ourselves and affect others’ change, too. Sometimes one word or one gesture of kindness can help another progress, whether we know it or not. Our compassion, our attention, and our attitude, may help another love themselves better. But if you’re not there yet, that’s alright. FSW is here to help you grow and reconnect with what you can do for yourself, Friend. And then we can refocus on others’ growth, too. Feel free to connect 1:1 here or if you’d like, you can leave a comment below on what we’ve talked about today.