Hey women and womxn! This week’s topic came up from an unexpected conversation. Actually, a lot of FSW topics come from chats or epiphanies… But we’re not talking about tips or tactics this week, and we’ll keep this a little shorter today. Though, maybe this nugget of reflection could still be useful as you move through the next few days.
As I was feeling out of balance about what to tackle and when, a dear person proposed something brilliant. It wasn’t exactly the way out of my predicament – save quitting one, or both, “passion paths” – yet it was a reframe that stems from a holistic perspective. I’ll be honest: for a while now, I’ve wondered if certain roles would have to take a backseat in my life or I might have to cut them completely to keep moving forward. Whatever that means…
Having different roles or responsibilities involves prioritization, but it may not always mean we need to 100% cut responsibilities out of life that are fulfilling and bring us joy.
What was an essential “ah-ha!” moment in this conversation was re-learning that it’s ok to put something on a side burner and not go all reactive and consider axing it. Even if it’s not the priority right now, it can become a higher priority down the road, and it may be vital to us later on. Even tomorrow or next week. We never know!
For sure: there is value in prioritizing and cutting distractions out that are more “busy” than productive. Or cutting things that we do “just because we’ve always done them,” because they suck up time and energy and may not expand our wellbeing. After processing what I’d cut out of my life by adding one more thing on my plate – I know, right? – they said something profound… “If you only focus on one [priority] then the other half of you would be empty.” The other half of me that finds joy in the additional role(s). The part of me that I’d cut away out of reactivity and feeling overwhelmed.
Are these roles perfect? No. Do they always come easy? Definitely not. But do they feel natural and part of a larger life picture and journey, still? Yes. And is this intersectionality part of our humanness and an opportunity for growth? Absolutely.
The takeaway: this seems to involve getting away from reactivity (especially ungrounded reactivity) and back into mindfulness. And it boils down to reflecting on our commitment with “the thing,” or the person, in front of us at the time… Setting aside presence for the situation, the role, and the responsibility, as it comes and as it is… Giving it our love and attention, whole-heartedly. Therefore, loving ourselves, as ourselves, whole-heartedly. A win-win, eh?
I’ll be pondering on this one a while longer but let me know how this resonates with you! Or, do you have some thoughts about “what to cut” and how to rank roles and responsibilities? Let me know in the comments below or you can always ask questions this way. If you’d like to hop on over to the FSW Quiz to see how you can refocus on yourself and living a full life, check it out here. Or, as always, you can join the FSW Circle to get direct updates about FSW content and future happenings! Chat soon!