Because I love a good theme and batching ideas together, let’s do something fun, the Five Themes of Soul-Full Living, until 2022 ends! I think it’ll help you navigate the holiday season and prepare yourself for 2023, if you’re one of those who loves to turn over a new leaf at this time of year!
For those who prefer the audio version of this post, click the play button below.
Our First Truth: Recognizing When It’s Not Our Job to “Babysit”
I know this one might feel assertive or like we’re walling ourselves off, but hear me out.
Do you have folks in your life who seem to always look to you for advice or guidance? Ok, great. Now, does working with, or helping them, drain you or uplift you (or somewhere in-between)? This is something to recognize.
From another perspective—and this will sound straightforward—for those of us who put our needs aside for others too often, why do we do that? Do you and I feel a need to save, control, keep others from harm, etc.?
Of course, there are people in our lives who depend on us or the services we provide (in family, friends, or community dynamics). However, as we honor those realities, we should also determine how we can allow others to have space to grow themselves or find their truths. Why? Because we’re all here in our specific lifetimes to learn, grow, and expand.
It’s not that we don’t want to heal, give, or be compassionate in this world. Many of us are changemakers. But if human existence and experience is about how we all have our journeys, how can we dial back to allow others their journeys? I’ll just leave that there for a moment, and let it soak in.
How This Helps Us Live a Soul-Full Life
When we can reclaim our sovereignty, our time, and our energy, in healthy ways, we can show up for our own growth and expansion. It doesn’t mean ditching everything we know and moving to a mountaintop (unless that is really your calling or your truth). I’ve just recognized over the years that when I was trying to save and help others, or rushing around beyond my boundaries: I not only denied myself my expansion, but others’ expansion.
Again, it doesn’t mean we shun “bad things” in this lifetime or others going through grief, pain, and more. We should assist others, help them, and create collective change; but there’s always a balance to be found. If we help ourselves, we help others; if others help themselves, they help us. It’s a win-win from a universal perspective.
Applying This Skill
Here are tools or observations that I’ve applied over the years to help me recognize when an event is a “watch and wait” situation or a “get in and fix it” situation:
- Boundary setting and staying steady in that, while witnessing with unconditional love
- Holding and creating space for feelings, transformation, and others’ “ah-ha” moments to come up
- Feeling sheer exhaustion because I’ve given too much and didn’t have or create time to recharge
- Allowing others to grow and develop at their pace (or stay stuck even)
In truth, this is not easy to do sometimes. When we’re natural healers, protectors, fixers, and do-gooders, we want to rush in and make sure everyone’s needs are absolutely met. And, honestly, this is a good thing; we need more kindness in this world. However, we also need to show ourselves kindness, otherwise, we might burn out and lose ourselves, and our walk in this lifetime might be more jarring.
As we crave soul-full living and knowing who we are at our core, our wisdom will continue to guide us in all situations and show us how to hold space for our needs, too. So, think about this and I’ll come back next week with the next Soul-Full Living topic!
That’s it for this week! Feeling inspired? If you’re looking for more tips, and want a more direct connection, join (for free) the FSW Circle and get The Weekly Wisdom in your Inbox. If you’re ready to ditch soul-sucking work and what doesn’t align with you and shift towards soul-full living and work-life balance…you need The Zone of Purpose™ Blueprint. And if you have any questions or comments, leave them below or contact me 1:1 this way. Chat with you soon and bright blessings on you!