We’re back with another post women and womxn! Last week there wasn’t one because of the US holiday, and I try to practice what I preach here about the need to recharge.
So today, I want to dive into comfort zones, because I’d like to think that we all have them in some way, shape, or form. When reflecting on my own, I can see throughout my life how I wanted a safety net and tried to create it for myself through my work. What’s interesting is that my comfort zone keeps adjusting as I prepare for my program launch: my go-go-go game is meeting my fear of failure head-on.
My comfort zone has always been this paradox: ever-occurring change mixed with craving safety. In the exploratory and formative years of my career journey, I was always going. I was trying to climb my own ladder of significance for multiple reasons: to gain experience, confidence, hopefully increase finances, and even be semi-normal. Because, you know, everyone has a standard 9-5 career until they retire, right?
The trouble with building my safety net like this was that I didn’t see how big the gaps were in my netting. My knots were done sometimes quickly and without long-game patience. Or, to put it less proverbially and more plainly: I just didn’t take enough time for my own needs before burning out in the end.
So, now what? How do we work with being or staying busy, wanting growth and change, yet trying to figure out how to keep our own needs in mind?
Honesty. Patience. Self-trust. We’ll go over this one at a time, and please know I am absolutely working through this with you in my own life.
Honesty With What Makes Us Comfortable
As I already mentioned, I have this interesting comfort zone—full of things to do, things I want to do, and some sprinkles of self-care in there somehow. Yet, when I finally get to the point where I’ve realized I haven’t breathed that deeply throughout the day and my mind is scattered, I know I went a little too far. Maybe going farther and farther is my comfort zone. Is it yours?
Just because I can be honest about it doesn’t mean that I should necessarily let it slide. Going and going and going works with ever-replenishing energy, but since the last time I checked, we’re still in human forms that have needs. So, the honesty is there and it’s time for the patience.
Patience With Ourselves as We Realize Our Patterns
Patterns usually don’t pop up out of thin air; they come because of our backgrounds and current situations. I’m not saying don’t work on them but loving ourselves despite them is a great first step. When we have true, nurturing patience with our choices and behaviors, we can begin to see even the tiny steps to change. I already talk about resources at FSW, but let’s unpack this further.
If we can slow down long enough to assess how we create and stay in our comfort zone, and then look at it with loving wisdom, we’re able to see how the comfort zone can be reshaped. That takes resources such as time, currency (literal or energy), and a plan. When we need these things to fall into place or at least be considered, patience helps us see the wisest choices at times.
Self-trust to Know We Can Change How We Work
Finally, self-trust might seem a little “woo woo” to some, but I’d like to think it’s a critical component of comfort zone building and comfort zone demolishing.
We’ve been through a lot in this lifetime and still, we doubt ourselves. I know, I do it, too… But I always believe in the power of change and realigning. Now, our egos or animal brains don’t like change; let’s just own that. Our brains try to keep us safe.
So, that’s where this long-game planning can work in our favor. We can make changes in our lives (even small ones) that make a significant impact down the road while shifting our comfort zones. We do this by shifting our safety net: what it means to us, what it can look like, and how it helps us today and later on.
This was a game-changer for me, when shifting from working for others to working for myself. Not everyone wants to work for themselves—I get that and it’s not easy. Yet, that doesn’t mean we can’t keep figuring out how we can realign with our desire for change, within our current comfort zone, and how to adapt from there. When we can trust ourselves to figure it out, because we already have a million times before, that’s inspiring.
That’s it for this week! If you’re looking for more direct updates on the FSW world and want a more direct connection, check out the FSW Circle. Want more independent research? Hit up the FSW Quiz. And if you have any questions or comments, leave them below or contact me 1:1 this way. Chat with you soon!