Hello, all Womxn and Women—how are you? How’ve things been going?
In the FSW world, tasks are progressing along with projects and outreach. The biz is in an interesting and fun stage of development, but even I have had to quell doubts. For sure, in this stage of business and personal development, I’ve realized the power of being a witness, a helper, and a supportive peer, in this place called Life. It seems like alongside the doubts, there are a lot of us who play this role or a role like “mothering” or nurturing others. And it can be a strange combination that fulfills us and drains us, too, even at the same time.
As you already know in other posts, we’ve been going through a rollercoaster of life changes and unknowns. To sound a little perky about it, it’s been a solid opportunity for unexpected growth. But to be transparent, I’ve been expelling energy lately where I didn’t have to. So, let’s connect together before I jump into the trick that has saved my proverbial you-know-what.
Time for Reflecting Together
Do you have times of self-talk or doubt that just pulls you down pretty consistently?
Or a feeling like there’s a whole bunch of noise and you don’t know how to get out of it?
Maybe you feel like the past haunts you or you should’ve done X, Y, and Z, differently to be happier?
–>How do you feel about stopping for a moment and doing something for me?
Begin to Be Honest with Yourself. It’s OK.
Begin to recognize and ask yourself with honesty: Is this my thought, belief, or action, or is this someone else’s?
In other words, what you’re doing right now and at this time in your life… Is it a reaction to someone else’s expectations? Are you doing it to fit into X circle? Or are you doing it to fill a void that was made by another? I hope this makes sense so far… And when I say “someone else’s” it doesn’t just have to be a parent or caretaker, or a coach, or another mentor. It can be a system, a job, or a family culture, etc.
In my years of work and life, I’ve seen so many of us want to feel confident, myself included. Or, we want to live in our power. Maybe we want to live a fulfilled life or feel “wanted,” in the sense of being unique and useful to the world. Or, so many of us want to not feel down on ourselves… The list goes on, Friends.
–>Are you ready for a powerful, grounding antidote when you feel this way? (For sure, I’ve had to do it myself.)
Observation. Yep, 100% observation.
The Trick on How to Use Your Energy Wisely: Observe Where It’s Spent
“Virginia, observe what?” –>Bravely witness where you sense your energy working, in your body, your mind, and even on a spiritual level.
And here are just a few ideas, in no particular order:
- Points of sensation in the body, painful or otherwise
- Feeling like you have true clarity and when you feel open-minded
- Believing you’re in competition with someone or you’re not balanced, per se
- Having feelings of anger, scarcity, or self-righteousness
- Seeing and feeling stillness within and outside yourself
- Racing thoughts, while trying to acknowledge they’re “just” thoughts
- Pushing your body to exhaustion
- Being a little fake with yourself and not knowing how to love who you are
- Or maybe seeing where you deplete yourself with anger, hate, and discontent, where you could brush others off, or take things less personally…and more.
Above all, when we become true, loving observers of our own bodies, minds, and hearts, we provide a powerful witness to ourselves. For ourselves. This means we can witness where we are, where we can change, and where we can grow. And this is a beautiful gift, Friends.
Within this witnessing, there are a few lessons:
- We can see what service we can provide to ourselves. When we provide service to ourselves, first, we have more energy reserves.
- In providing ourselves true, focused observation, we gift ourselves love, full attention, and a calming presence.
- We’re able to retain our energy in more productive ways, through self-care, and through making powerful decisions in our growth and expansion.
As you know, I’ve already talked about self-care, growth, and expansion here. And the vulnerabilities, and the truths, and the “problems” to get through. That being said, if we can retain our energy to put it to better use, we will feel more than an inch tall. We’ll feel like we can climb a mountain.
Definitely, this goes a little bit beyond mindset. It’s not just about “convincing yourself you can do it,” per se. This is a holistic, daily experience, my Friends.
The way I see it, if thoughts or beliefs are rolling around in my head… I stop. I take a breath. And I witness, without judging (which can be really hard to do when you’re so used to doing that). I witness my Human Self weighing options; I witness Virginia as though I’m witnessing a forest…. There are sounds, there are vibrations, and there is presence. There are shadows. There’s briskness. And then there’s sunlight and warmth, and just me. Not pressures, not doubts… Just this moment.
Sometimes growth and expansion come relatively “easy,” where we can feel our decisions are correct, natural, and the right thing to do. Other times, we have some conflict and we have some unknowns, questions we’re not sure we want to ask ourselves. As womxn, we have a chance to really get to know who we are as we journey on, and to reconnect with what we can do for ourselves. How does that sound to you? Ready for it?
In conclusion: What do you think about taking a step back and observing for a bit? Even when you’re unsure, or especially when you feel that way? Does any of this resonate with you? I’d love to know, and I’d love to know what FSW can do for you and your journey. If you’re wanting some more clarity or processing, feel free to email 1:1 this way. Or, if you want to do things more independently right now, the FSW Quiz can help you navigate where you’re at, and the FSW Circle is a group that has more direct communications with myself. Regardless of what you’re feeling right now, Wonderful Womxn, you’re not alone in this and FSW is here to help each step of the way.