Happy Monday, Women & Women~ How are you doing so far this week?
In the FSW and VJ world, things are full speed ahead: house/property hunting, RV life, projects, and more. The only thing constant is change, eh?
What I’ve realized lately is that it can be so easy to dive in head first on projects or planning for the future. Any of us can just start charting goals, tasks, and outcomes, before considering the intentionality of next pursuits. Honestly, I did it on a recent project—the anxiety went up, stress levels went high, and all I saw was a number… And I lost myself and my (true) goal when pushing forward without much aim, a.k.a. the blinders going up without a valid sense of direction.
But then, I had to remind myself of something. Panic or grasping with projects doesn’t always mean we get the outcomes we want sometimes. Yes, we may still get things figured out, but there’s a chance we can be more successful if we blend some tactics together. At the end of the day, if we can pull out of the spiral of panic and overwhelm, we can find and work with our balanced, vibrant Self. Let’s get to it!
Tip #1: Have an Accountability Partner or Buddy System
I’ll be the first one to admit, I don’t have a ton of friends, I’m careful with who I hang out with, and I am a very independent person. But sometimes that doesn’t always need to happen; sometimes in having connections there can be a balance to my head thoughts, worries, and outlook.
I’ve already mentioned this on FSW, but to reinforce the Buddy System… it helps us get out of our own Egos, or Human Element, to break free of our own conditioning. If we’re ready to do something in a panic, having another trusted person there to bounce ideas off of is a huge benefit.
Now, admittedly, when someone gives us feedback or constructive responses, it can be easy to recoil or get defensive. Especially if we have our eyes set on the deal—be it a job, relationship, trip, activity, or whatever. Yet, if we can try, try, try, to not take input personally we’ll hear another point of view that can help us, potentially.
Tip #2: Make Promises to Yourself with Your Why in Mind
When we think of our future, with a capital F, there may be times we think that we have to have it all: the dream, the stability, and the plan. This depends on our culture and norms as well. But our plan can be even better when we have our why in mind.
Why’s that? Because when we look at what fulfills us, what feels natural and challenges us in the best ways, we can see how our growth will happen. When we’re in a little bit of a panic and grasping at future objectives, we have to stop ourselves with a question:
Is this really, truly, what I want deep in my Soul? (Yes, No, or Not Sure)
Yes–>How do we get there?
No–>Why are we still pursuing it then?
Not Sure–>Time will tell the answer and some deep reflection could be helpful.
I don’t talk about this all too often, but when I was halfway through a school program a few years back, my dream of dreams, I walked away from it in the end. Not because I just felt like it, but because it wasn’t going to be a fit in the long run. If you want to know more, join the FSW Circle and say, “V, tell me more about this.” I’ll be real with you women + womxn, to leave a (supposed) life’s dream takes some you-know-what. But when I asked myself some of these reflective questions—why am I really doing this, how would I really feel about this in five years, etc.—I felt peace in letting it go. The plan. The promises to myself. The goal.
I gave it up and gained so much more… Why? Because “My Deep Why” is, in the long run, more important than my Ego.
Try as often as you can to make promises to yourself that are worth keeping. You know the ones I’m talking about… The ones that nurture you, help you with your progress and expansion, and help you reconnect with who you are.
When you remember why you do things, what your values are, and what your growth looks like, as you make choices… You’ll have more buy-in for yourself and have a better sense of direction.
Tip #3: Acknowledge Your Self-Worth
I know… Sometimes this is easier said than done. Especially with histories, stress, and more. But hear me out.
If we can “pretend”—for a minute–the past didn’t happen and we absolutely look at what we have going on today, 100%, without past guilt, s%&66# feelings, or our Ego involved—how would we look at our self-worth? Honestly. If we then pull in past choices and actually consider back then we did the best we could with what we knew and today we’re doing the same… Planning for our future could be a little more open-minded with our current responsibilities, yeah?
We really do put a ton of pressure on ourselves to be the best, do the best, and more. I’m raising my hand, Womxn. Takes one to know one, as the phrase goes.
One thing that seems apparent though is if we know who we are, or are willing to learn who that is, then we don’t just grasp at anything. We reach out, but pause. We might at first reach for the goal or the plan to fill a void or whatever. But then we just get still and silent for a second and wonder, “Is this really the right choice for me (and my family, my dog, my spouse, my partner, my future)?” Better yet: Is this the right choice for me to build my own self-worth? Living in it? Being it?
Now, I understand there are situations where we do what we have to so we can pay bills, feed those we love, and survive, just to make ends meet. Did that, too. But let’s dig deeper and re-learn who we are in the process of surviving so we can, in the end, thrive. It’s actually possible to thrive, even if we didn’t believe in ourselves before, Sisters and Womxn. Anything is possible.
Pretend we believe, even for a moment, we have self-worth… It won’t leave you (even when you don’t believe in yourself). You’re a part of this larger web of Life, and like anything in this large, vast Universe, you can change little by little. And when we mix self-worth + the ability to change = we get an opportunity for things to be different in our present day and our future.
Tip #4: When You See the “Noise” Online About What you MUST do to Succeed, Take It or Leave It
Let’s disclose something real quick–I really don’t like using caps in my writing. It feels pushy, but I did it to, admittedly, make a point.
We all know the feeling… You’re looking online or in other resources for answers and you get the “all caps vibe.” The one where they’re practically yelling at you through typeface, or it feels like you have to do something or wither away. The best part is, that’s not true.
Success or progress is very individualistic. Sure, there’s collective evolution and change, but today, right now, what we have is us. You. Me. Here. Now.
The noise that’s online or in our circles of influence can add to our informational overload. This is where I try to balance it out with some questions and you can, too:
- What will help you expand? And what’ll truly help you change, today and tomorrow?
- Give it some thought, what information can help you thrive? There’s a difference between a plan of action that is based on holistic practice and one based on losing yourself.
- Related to Tip #1, who helps you succeed and who (or what) holds you back? For those who do help, let them be an accountability buddy. As I said, it can help balance the Ego when there’s an individual who also is grounded in themselves and who wants the absolute best for you, unconditionally.
Your future is yours and the noise out there isn’t always meant for you, and that’s ok. What’s meant for you will come, and what’s meant for you will go. Whatever is fluff, let it go, Friends,
Alright–what do you think of these tips, Womxn? This is just a start to ideas and tricks that help you stay the course to who you are vs. trying to live as others do. When we can come to our center, our Self, and still succeed in our objectives, it’s a win-win. If you’re interested in more topics, here’s the Blog, and if you want to join our growing FSW community the FSW Circle sign up is here. For those who just want to do solo work right now, that’s ok. Here’s the FSW Quiz with a mini-guide, so you can start to live your fullest life. And when you’re ready, join the FSW Circle where we share this journey of reconnection, growth, and thriving, together! Have a beautiful week ahead!