Hey, Women & Womxn!
Do you struggle with finding your purpose? Maybe you try something new again and again only to go, “Nope! This doesn’t really fit me.” While it might feel shoddy at times, you’re gaining more experiences and figuring some things out. This is ok. It took a long time for me to accept my detours, honestly. This has practically been my life since I graduated college up to now.
I always thought that eventually I’d find The Thing that made me satisfied, feel valued, and at peace, and then I’d sit around doing that for decades. Newsflash: it didn’t happen like I thought it would. How about you—have you found your Big Pursuit? If so, cool. If not, let’s chat about that. And funny enough a movie I watched yesterday (Off the Menu, if you’re interested) made something click in my brain about life purpose and it may be helpful to you, too.
Let’s start with the first question: How do you find purpose in anything?
Early in my adult years, I wouldn’t have understood this as fully as I do now. We can read messages from the sages, in spiritual books or memos, or listen to a “guru” talk about contentment in what is. But, admittedly, it’s hard to live this way if it’s not deeply understood and felt. We can think about many things, but to feel it in our cells and bones is part of the journey.
Just curious: are you able to see or find purpose in “mundane” things or activities? If not, why? Is it important to you to find a purpose in a big, badass, bold situation? If you were to find some contentment and purpose in simple or unique-to-you circumstances, would it feel a little less fun or smaller? I could see how, if you’ve tended to live life in the first description as I did, and why it could be hard to turn that around initially.
Before we dive into the four tips for finding your purpose, I want to clarify a couple of things. First, there’s nothing wrong with “big and bold” if it’s natural and meant to be for you. There are reasons there are the “firsts” to do things in social or geopolitical causes; some folks find their paths in the spotlight and others are leaders and influencers. We all play our part. Second, for those of you who find peace in the simple or the non-spotlight spaces, that’s ok, too. You do you. What we’re talking about today is this middle ground between the two, or maybe that transitioning between thinking about your purpose and living in your purpose.
How do you find “your purpose” in this life?
I’ve already brought it up on other blog posts, reminding you that you’re here for a purpose or that I’m here to help you pursue your growth, perhaps pivot, or help you thrive. But I haven’t yet dived into how to find this purpose; let’s get to it.
- Acknowledge that there is a mix of messages around “purpose,” having a “calling,” and more. As we’ve just chatted about above, it’s what resonates with you that’s important. Even if you’re craving life pursuits that are big, small, or somewhere in between–>What calls to you? What do you want to build an intention around and what drives you? What makes you feel lighter vs. weighed down? Reflect on these questions as they relate to you, not to others. We don’t need to go into competition mode with anyone relating to our purpose. We’re here in this lifetime for our development and that of this universe.
- Speaking of resonating: what do you deeply, intuitively enjoy? What makes you stop talking and stare mindlessly? I’m not talking about a person, obviously, but an experience. What makes you lose track of time and makes you daydream? Ponder and take note of the answers to questions like these, with what comes naturally to you already, and what suits you. Consider your past and present experiences and then you can see which direction you’re drawn towards.
- Yes, pay attention to what you’re drawn towards, but go beyond your intellect and mental game. Use any of the senses that apply to you: hear, touch, taste, smell, feel, see, and sense. Marinate on some of these prompts. What comforts you? And what makes you feel stronger or more in tune with your body? Think about what makes you get out of bed in the morning (or afternoon, depending on your lifestyle)? Where do you see yourself moving towards, in a holistic way, body, mind, and spirit?
- Give yourself permission to pursue it, if you’re not already. Start with baby steps: dreaming, planning, preparation, but more importantly, going with the flow of it.
Some of us—myself included—have struggled with the greater questions, “But how do I know this is my calling? What if I’m wrong?”
But, what if you’re right, Friend? And, for many of us, liking other people (even platonically) doesn’t happen just once. We have loved different people, we have been friends with different people; we have had different experiences, made different choices. Usually, there isn’t just one [fill in the blank] in our life; perhaps there’s more.
Just my opinion, and take it or leave it, but Life Purpose could really be more like Life Purposes, plural. In all of our choices, we have the ability to be 1%-100% in it. We have a purpose while we shop for groceries, we have a purpose when trying to get to work or maintain our job, and we have a purpose in our personal relationships. And maybe these mini-purposes help us learn more about ourselves, so we can pursue our one (or multiple) Big Life Purpose.
Back to the movie to close this out. Spoiler alert, but in one scene the two characters talk about having a passion or calling. One of them said something both profound and understandable. To paraphrase: they said that while they may not know what they do is a calling, they know it’s an instinct. BONUS TIP: What is your instinct telling you? What does your Inner Wisdom guide you to do? That’s a great start to finding your purpose(s) and maybe you’re starting to live it already.
Let me know in the comments below or email me 1:1 about this–> Do you find it easy to pursue your instinctual, driven feelings? Or, are you still figuring things out? Maybe you’re in between these two, trying to pivot but don’t know how. Some freebie resources with FSW might help you get started. The FSW Quiz might help you piece together how lost you’re feeling, if that’s the case, or give you some tips to keep going. If interested, here’s the Quiz. The FSW Circle is meant for those who want more direct communications and connection, and here’s the link to that. Whether you want more connection now, or to go a little slower and simply take a quiz, you’ll get mini-guides to help you either way. Namaste, and take one step at a time, as we all do, while living this journey and pursuing your purpose(s). 🙂