We’re back with another blog post! And I’ll admit this week I was wondering what to write about for you all and then it hit me this morning: bringing the right people into your circle. Just last week I was talking with a business friend of mine who has been in my life for a few years and has seen me do FSW in an ebb-and-flow fashion. She’s seen the low points and the beautiful points and has been there for it. But one thing she hasn’t been around for yet is my speaking in a more extensive way.
The thing you need to say yes to might not be a speaking engagement but what if it is? Or what if it’s a job application? Let’s dig into it further!
For those who prefer the audio version of this post, click the play button below.
Connecting with Those Who Help You Say Yes (and No)
Over the years I’ve recognized that who you bring into your circle matters deeply. I mean, deeply. And sometimes we don’t know this until we’re in our later 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. But I feel that once you know better, do better, right? It’s so true!
When we have the moments in life where we’re afraid of the next steps, or don’t know what they are with clarity, bring in your care team! That’s what I call it! They’re your friends, connections, or family, that know you pretty well and can help you say yes, and no, to things that you’re wondering about. Yes, there are times where there are too many cooks in the kitchen, but more often than not, use your folks to your advantage, especially when they tell you truths with grace.
Ditching or Rearranging Those Who Don’t
We’ve all been there: the connection or human in our life that maybe they fill our bucket for a time and then it’s time to let it fade. Or, as we saw with the pandemic, politics, etc., the rupture happens in an instant and that’s that.
I feel relationships fade for reasons—sometimes tragic to good—and maybe we don’t see why they do until later. But suffice it to say, rearrange the relationships that you need to, if you want them in your world (or have to have them for various reasons). And what do I mean by rearrange? Put them in a category that works for you.
For example: there are certain relationships in your life that started in a certain way. Maybe y’all were closer or had a bond that’s shifted now. Maybe you still talk to them or you’ve recognized that they don’t fill your bucket as much, especially if you’ve done some changing. So, they can be moved to “another bucket;” keep them in your life, as you want to, but realize how they fulfill you now or how often to contact them or see them. If you’re not ready to “ditch them” then try this and see what re-categorizing does for you.
As for the toxic relationships… Well, if you can ditch them—be at your work or in your life—you know it’s time. Do it. For your own future and your own well-being.
Keeping Your Values in Sight as You Hit Submit
Let’s go back to the story behind today’s post: having your care team, or the right people around you, to hit Submit. Apply for that job. Take that trip. Or whatever you need to do for yourself and the life you’d like to create.
Taking these new and unknown steps can be friggin’ scary (even if you’re excited to do them). We’re wired to stay comfortable and safe. But when you have your care team and you know the values you want to uphold, and you see the next steps in your future, you can’t go wrong. Let me repeat that: you can’t go wrong. Yes, it’s terrifying to try new things, but when you know yourself (even if that’s a journey throughout this life), and you see your strengths, plus have encouragement… You’re unstoppable.
So, take it from me, the chronic people-pleaser: have a circle of encouragers around you. Invite and allow in kindness, compassion, truth-telling, and space holders, to go, “So, why haven’t you done _______ yet?” And then when you say why, because of fears and more, they can reply with, “Alright, that’s valid. I’ll wait here until you do.” Those are your people. Those are your fellow wise women, or folks, that know what you’re worth. And then they wait around until you know it as well and act on it.
PS) I’ve been testing myself lately, the last few blog posts, to keep them short and sweet for y’all. I know life is busy and keeps life-ing so I’ve been trying to keep these to 1,000 words or less. If you love it, let me know! If you like a range of stories or tips, from short to long formats, let me know that, too!
That’s it for this week! Feeling inspired? If you’re looking for more tips, and want a more direct connection, join (for free) the FSW Circle and get The Weekly Wisdom in your Inbox. If you’re ready to ditch soul-sucking work and what doesn’t align with you and shift towards soul-full living and work-life balance…you need The Zone of Purpose™ Blueprint. And if you have any questions or comments, leave them below or contact me 1:1 this way. Chat with you soon and bright blessings on you!