We’re wrapping up April, Women and Womxn! And I’m still a little stuck in the February and March life events, trying to move forward. Go figure! How are you all doing?
One of the things I haven’t written about in-depth is this business and my desire to see it through. Sure, you can read about FSW in the About section, but we can dive into it more together here. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been working on my own journey.
In years’ worth of professional history, I can see (now) how things have pointed in this direction. But to be 100% transparent, I definitely never saw myself as a business owner before this. Now that I think of it, I kind of avoided the idea for a while until the last couple of years.
Admittedly, I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself for FSW to work and for it to make a difference in time. I actually tend to put a lot of pressure on myself anyway, which is contradictory to the side of me that’s go-with-the-flow. It doesn’t make sense sometimes and can feel like a lot of internal daily conflict.
Want to know the saving grace? Applying the same steps, tips, and tricks, that I’ve suggested to you on FSW. 😊 And always learning. Always adapting (or trying to). And always trying to be my own validation (or trying to).
Here are Three Tricks to Help You Validate Yourself
#1: Don’t Buy into the Comparison Game
I already mentioned this in the Comparison Game post, but it’s worth repeating and expanding upon a wee bit. During a recent social media experience, I had an exchange with someone where I totally didn’t know how to take their words. I’m taking it at face value, believe they meant well, but it still made me feel like a 1” tall Business Womxn. In another case, months ago or more, I was filling out a form for a webinar or conference. I can’t even remember the details. Point is, I think it was a survey trying to figure out my experience as a business owner. While completing it, I joked to myself they should have the category “Unpaid Intern” listed because I felt—and at times still feel—just that green with this gig.
Maybe you’ve got this, too, in your world: the newest person on the team, the recent hire for a new role, or the new partner in a family. We are all Newbies, many times in our lives. Shoot—a lot of us Google quotes about learning more and developing every day. It’s nice to see on paper, but trying to live it can be humbling if we’re wrapped up in our Ego too often.
So, let’s try to keep this in mind… It’s probably “easier” to let the comparisons go for our daily short game and in the long run. And it’s handy to reframe our “inexperience” and try to live like this: “Yeah, I don’t know what the (bleep) I’m doing right now, but I’m lovin’ it and it fills my bucket anyway.” There’s a reason a lot of us say, “Live and learn.” –> Let’s give ourselves some grace when actually trying to apply it.
#2: Remember Humility and Privilege as You Grow and Validate Yourself
This trick might not feel like one, but I promise it matters.
First—and I may get some flack for this—every one of us has a component of privilege in our life. I have more privilege being a White womxn than others, but a straight woman may have more privilege than I, depending upon which circles I’m in. Another Human may have more privilege than someone living on the street. Someone may have more privilege than another living in a war-torn country or a trafficking circumstance. (The list goes on and I’m not trying to be trivial–these are all very real situations to acknowledge.)
In other words: whatever privilege you and I hold we need to use it for good if we can. And yeah, privilege levels can change, to a degree, depending on our circumstances. But when we do our best to live with humility, we can do some empowering things for others, not just for ourselves.
Have a million dollars? Don’t keep buying shoes if that’s your M.O.; give some to charity. Do you have a platform for your work? Help others thrive with it. Thinking about how you can give time in service? Start Googling and asking around in your network.
And how does this validate you? –> By being a kinder, more compassionate Human, your giving to other Beings will lighten the collective load of suffering. Win-win.
#3: Spend Your Time the “Right Way”
This one is a little self-explanatory and it’s simple to consider, but sometimes harder to apply. Say “yes” to the tasks, Humans, and items, that lift you up, empower you, or get you through a tough situation with love. Say “no” to those that drag you down, inhibit your growth, etc. And while this can tie into Point #2 and privilege, I am always amazed at how any Human can pull themselves out of a deep hole using their own reverence.
No, I’m not talking about being self-absorbed, but seeing the actual divine within. The wisdom within. The knowing of how they made it through using their resources or getting new ones. Or coming out of the tunnel with a feeling of expansiveness, after being in the depths.
If you can’t drop some people in your world right now, or things, it’s ok. Just think about this trick and start to acknowledge areas of change for the future. And also consider where you look outside yourself for validation, and figure out where you can spend your time better for you.
Validation can mean better self-talk, self-care, and more. But it may also mean that we can light our own way, commit to our growth, and acknowledge that we can help ourselves… Even if we were ever told otherwise. ‘Cause we are goddesses, Womxn. We are of this Earth and Universe. We are the stars and the trees. Ultimately, we are a component of this living, breathing, and intelligent, network. Try to think of yourself as a critical part of this web; a thread in the weave of Life. And this web needs you.
If you have questions about self-validation, or others found on the Blog, feel free to connect with me here. Or, if you’re looking for other resources there’s a couple. Joining the FSW Circle or taking the FSW Quiz will get you some free mini-guides to help you reconnect with what you can do for yourself. I hope you find them useful, Friends, and have a beautiful week ahead!